Whats up douchebags. It's Guy Ernest here. Bye bye TV run by nerds, hello meathead TV. Apple TV will let meatheads upload their video to the TV. Ooh baby. Now the world can see my muscles. Oh and the girls I bang. Check this one out. Oh baby.
Even better, nerdy fruitcake journalists with glasses (the Clark Kents) will drop off and manly journalists who look good on camera (Supermen) will win with citizen journalism. All I need is a videocamera and CBS will be shaking in its snakeskin boots. Ha ha clark kents you thought writing was good enough. No; that's the beauty; now with all this technology NO ONE WILL READ NEWSPAPERS AND YOU WILL JUST WATCH THE NEWS! WHICH MEANS UGLY NERDS WHO ONLY KNOW HOW TO WRITE WILL BE REPLACED MORE AND MOORE BY MEATHEADS AND BIMBOS WHO LOOK GOOD AND KNOW HOW TO POINT A CAMERA. THANK THE GREEK MUSCULAR GODS! OH BABY!
I'm inspired by Macho Videos. All macho videos all the time. Sorry geeks; no iPhone here. Just babes. All they need is bubbles and it will be the best website ever.
I'm gonna make a channel for APple TV in the future called MTV or Meathead TV. In the future there will be no music; just sex sounds turned into music by Matmos. Solid gold sex noise hits!
Now I know I'm hotter than a steaming pile of horseshit at Disney World, but even I can be wrong.
I WAS WRONG ABOUT THE WII.
After seeing this Wii Sex movie I'm gonna make meathead Wii movies.
Oh baby! Seriously, I wanna make a show on Meathead TV with Wii milfs. Or Wiilfs. Maybe I'll make a film called Teen Wiilf. Or Hungry for the Wiilf. Or Castle Wiilfenstein. Or Warner Wiilf. Let's go to the video tape!
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The Story of Guy Ernest
Every strong man comes from a strong sperm. My dad Manny was born in Levitown Long Iland in 1945. He was star quarterback for Levitown Hi back in fall of 63, but Kennedy got shot then so no one gave a shit. In 67, he would do comedy at the Improv in New York. He invented the world's first Dylan imitation.
He slept around a lot, so whe never figured out who my mudder was. But I was born in 76 in Flushing, Queens. My dad would do comedy wearing one of those chest baby carriers while he was smoking cigarettes onstage telling one liners and playing the ukelaylee.
On to MEEEE!!!! I watched Andrew Dice Clay on HBO in the 80s. Clay was also on crime story. Clay is like my surrogate father. I love him like I love a courtesy flush splashing my ball sac. But my dad hated him -- and HBO. He swore Carson was the only other way to go. HBO would have him but Carson wouldn't so boom- his career in comedy was over and we moved to Ronkonkoma in 1988.
The 90s was honestly truly speaking my time to shine to grow to achieve. To LIIIIVE!!!! I was such a snatch soaker back then, oh baby. I went to all these great clubs (Tunnel, Limelight, Cro Bar). I tore up more pussy than Freddy Kruger and Edward Scissorhands at a bikini waxing place. Oh baby.
My career in comedy began in 1996 when I sang Technotronic "Get Up - Before the Night is Over" featuring Ya Kid K. I was so fucked up I couldn't read the lyrics so I just told jokes.
I've been doing open mikes in the Village since 2005 because I took a ten year break from comedy. I got my girl Toni (she's a real beatnick chick but I guess she just loves my bad boy ways) and my friend Biff Bixby, whose a bounser for the Tit E Shack. So there it is. Sexy. Funny Boom.
He slept around a lot, so whe never figured out who my mudder was. But I was born in 76 in Flushing, Queens. My dad would do comedy wearing one of those chest baby carriers while he was smoking cigarettes onstage telling one liners and playing the ukelaylee.
On to MEEEE!!!! I watched Andrew Dice Clay on HBO in the 80s. Clay was also on crime story. Clay is like my surrogate father. I love him like I love a courtesy flush splashing my ball sac. But my dad hated him -- and HBO. He swore Carson was the only other way to go. HBO would have him but Carson wouldn't so boom- his career in comedy was over and we moved to Ronkonkoma in 1988.
The 90s was honestly truly speaking my time to shine to grow to achieve. To LIIIIVE!!!! I was such a snatch soaker back then, oh baby. I went to all these great clubs (Tunnel, Limelight, Cro Bar). I tore up more pussy than Freddy Kruger and Edward Scissorhands at a bikini waxing place. Oh baby.
My career in comedy began in 1996 when I sang Technotronic "Get Up - Before the Night is Over" featuring Ya Kid K. I was so fucked up I couldn't read the lyrics so I just told jokes.
I've been doing open mikes in the Village since 2005 because I took a ten year break from comedy. I got my girl Toni (she's a real beatnick chick but I guess she just loves my bad boy ways) and my friend Biff Bixby, whose a bounser for the Tit E Shack. So there it is. Sexy. Funny Boom.
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